The feminine meets Wagner.
London, 1996 April 8th 8:35
Ken Mogi
A remarkablething happened during the interval of 1st and 2nd act. A gay man walked in---let me describe him or her (I am going to describe as Her, respecting her gender, not his natural sex). She was a white male, most likely to be a Briton. She is about 180 cm tall, and on top of that she is wearing black high heel shoes, so she appears to be very tall. Her face is like the Lawrence of Arabia squeezed a little bit from both sides, especially on the nose, so that every feature becomes narrow and thin. She wore a white panty stocking, black skirt, and a check jacket. She had conspicuous golden earring with some gemstone on both ears, and wore a massive necklace. The string of the necklace was black, thick, and a series of cylinder-like pieces made of blue something was attached to it. Her hair was red-blonde, wavy and massive, I suspected that was a hair-piece. I thought so because around his chin (which was surprisingly thin and smooth--I suspected he went under cosmetic surgery), I could see a well-shaven, but still conspicuous "background stocks" of the beard in a surprisingly wide area of the down-face, and that was white-black. Her face has the appearance of being very dark, with a very thick beard if she did not shave. She carried a black handbag.
I was having coffee with my back leaned on a row of table attached to the wall, so I could watch her move without being rude. First she got into the line of people wanting to buy food. She is so conspicuous in the line, so tall, very slim, but apparently a man dressing like a lady. She gets her food, which is coffee and a cake. She begins to look for a table. She cannot find an empty place. There was a table where two old men were sitting (apparently not related to each other). She walks up to the table and asks if she could sit there. The man looks up and gestures please. She sits there, begins to eat the cake. After that, she produces a mirror, and begins to do something to her eyes. Now she was sitting with her face towards me, so I could see her very well. She had very conspicuously formed blue eye-lines. She would have been a perfect beauty if it was not for the dark color of her face and the remains of the shaved beard----then I began to think what was the feature that was impressing me.
You found her at once attractive and repellent. Let me describe the feeling in a strange way---it was a mixture of the urine and the best perfume in the world. You feel that you could smell a very exquisite fragrance, but that is mixed with the urine odour. Not that you mind urine part very much.
And then I realized what probably was the most striking feature of her----self-absorption. When I found this word, I almost gasped. She walks in, gets in the line for coffee and cake. Then she walks to the table, asks if she can sit there, and begins to eat the cake. Then she begins to adjust her cosmetics with the mirror. During all this, there is this complete self-absorption. Of course she is making a scene. People are looking at her furtively. She is attracting attention. But she is oblivious to all that. She is not even looking for an attractive man, or trying to show her off. When a girl makes the catwalk, she is trying to impress the men around. Not this gay man. She is completely absorbed in herself. I believe I have never seen a self-absorption of this intensity and purity. I was really truly impressed. I thought I witnessed something profound and valuable. Then the fanfare for the second act rang. I had to go. That was the last sight I had of this lady.......
She was more feminine than most ladies are.